No Bloggin' Tonight

I wanted to blog tonight but have somehow "tweaked" my neck and am feeling rather sorry for myself.  The whole affair has forced me to be somewhat guarded with my movements, slow down, be still.  Right now, I am lying on my bed with a pillow propped up to support my head, barely moving anything but my fingers on the keyboard...in a receiving mode, as-it-were.  The sounds of evening are singing to my quieted ears, thoughts have dissipated to just what is for this moment. The pain is bringing me to center and I am becoming renewed by it. 

Sounds so "Zen"...but it's true, I swear on a stack of Buddhist quotes!

I'm thinking life is a little like this.  The pain we experience in our hearts and souls brings us back to "what's most important".  Perhaps the experience of pain itself is cleansing.  I supposed I should be grateful for the acute pain in my neck, grateful that there have been painful experiences and trials throughout my life which give me clarity and character.

So, to my painful neck...."bring it on!"

Marti

Adieu to my baby girl ~

Brooke left yesterday for college and I find myself in a maelstrom of emotions. Tears welled up as we said our "goodbye and good luck" wishes, held each other and then let go. Let go...


I am learning to live the advice I have given my kids for so many years. Let go and let it be (yes, I grew up with the Beatles!). It's such a true, pure, "zen" way to live but the only way, I believe, we can find peace in the outcomes of life's adventures and allow what's meant to be...to be. So, I am hesitantly turning from the "wave" just ridden, a magnificent ride, and turning to face the next one. What lies ahead? Another book (the sequel), travel, new available time to spend with Brett (he's in the photo behind Brooke) and my grandma Verna. So much to look forward to!
So Brooke...adieu! Have a wonderful life adventure away in another state, at college, with friends.
Mom

Dreams

9/4/2010 7:14:41 AM
Is there meaning behind our dreams and if so, what do our dreams really mean?
Last night I dreamt I was in Greece. I could see the clear turquoise water and smell fish and spices in the air. The people in my dream were very generous to me, feeding me unfamiliar flavors washed through tender meat and oil-laden vegetables. I ate and more food would be place before me, overwhelming really. Their culture was vibrant as I watched the woman tend to her man as we sat visiting while she scurried to and from the house with something always in her hand, always throwing out an after-thought as she left us. I moved to the edge of a patio and sat, dangling my feet in the clear sea water. The man stayed with me, still talking. Suddenly, a large shadow rushed to where I was in the water. Apparently I had stood up at some point because I was alone then, watching a great white shark as it rammed into the very spot I had been sitting. Then I awoke.

I have never been to Greece in this lifetime but interestingly, have always had a strong desire to go. The faces of those people elude me this morning. But the experience was real and I remember the smells, tastes and feeling of that place even now several hours after awakening.

The meaning of the dream may be relevant and something I will consider, meditate on at a later date. Right now, my focus is on the purpose of the experience of my dream. I have read from "experts" that occasionally, dreams of detail that include location, people and events creating an experience (not just an image we are viewing) as we dream are really the taste of past lives creeping into our consciousness. I am curious about the dreams of others and what their experience is as they dream. As I contemplate my own dream experience, clarity will come I am sure, clarity I will share here at some point.

I wonder, have I really been to Greece sometime before?

Eternity Really?

Whenever I think of time, I think in terms of a timeline - a long line written across an invisible wall with a beginning date (usually my birthday) and an end date (my death, although the exact date isn't yet written down for obvious reasons). Somewhere in the middle is a little arrow that says "you are here". That's my time, my lifetime written down.

But that's not really how I feel it. I think the concept of a long line is a good one, definitive for those of us who have to be visual. In my mind, the line isn't one long skinny line but rather a wide, fat (goes on farther-than-the-eye-can-see-kind-of-wide) line that looks much like the horizon of an ocean. The width of my timeline is eternity. It has no beginning (that I can see) and no end. The starting point of my own personal linear line, which is my birthdate, is irrelevant because the width goes on forever, extending behind my birthdate and beyond my death date, whenever that will be.

This is eternity.

I believe that the souls of others who may have yet to reach their birthdates or who have passed beyond their death dates, dwell within this expanse. They are travelling my timeline with me as I did theirs. Our lives cross back and forth across the insignificance of our own visual timelines and continue to do so well after our own deaths. This is eternal relationship defined.

Could our Deja vu moments with people result from our associations through the eternities? Was I once a spirit sailing on a great ship in the Caribbean and now in this life recall the details of the saltwater logged wood on a vessel in the 18th century? Are the longings of a person's heart for someone they can't quite identify the longing for someone known in the expanse of eternity?

It gives me hope...

There are Good People Out There...Really!

Tonight I sat in the South Towne Mall and spent four hours talking to complete strangers. Anyone who knows me understands how difficult that whole process is for me. But, I'm so glad I did. There are some amazing people walking this planet! Each person's story was very different than the other, each sharing personal trials, victories and hopes for their future.

Particularly amazing is this fan who showed up, taking photos and supporting my dream.

Thank you!
Marti

Motivated and It's NOT Too Hot Outside

I just spent the last few minutes looking at my daughter-in-law's new blog and I was so impressed by her writing, posting and the general look of it...that I decided to post on my own. So, I'm now sitting outside in the tepid evening air watching my grandson, Boone eat the sand in his new sandbox and holler "'Mon...C'mon" as he pulls my hand and leads me to the new sandbox.

It's a great night and I'm content, looking forward to a waning full moon and the chance to write about a pirate in the Caribbean in 1722.

I think this is as good as it gets!

Red Sky at Night...a Sailor's Delight

I intended to blog tonight, particularly after viewing the sunset here just an hour ago, but I'm exhausted so this will be short. Still, I can't forget the ethereal sight I witnessed in the sky tonight. What an amazing array of salmon-drenched light peaking through slate billowy clouds! I had to take photos and plan to write that sunset into the sequel somewhere. Kathryn must experience that sunset on the sea some evening, don't you think?

God really knows how to paint the sky doesn't he?

Have a great week! I probably won't write again until after the wedding Saturday. If you have a chance, run by any Salt Lake City library (or the county library, although they haven't ordered books yet to my knowledge) and check out your copy of Midnight Omen Deja vu. Better yet, drop by Eborn Books in the Southtowne Mall or Frost's Books in Sugarhouse and pick up your own copy!


XO
Marti