This Time of Year Totally ROCKS!

 

This is my favorite time of year!  Ask my kids and they'll tell you there is nothing like Halloween at my house.  Initially, my intentions weren't pure but rather those of a desperate single mom attempting to keep her five rambunctious kids off the street.  It worked, actually.  Our yard became a giant cemetery with something created (by hand of course - another day designated to keep those kids busy and out of trouble) each year - a "new addition", so-to-speak.  Glow-in-the-dark tombstones, red satin lined coffin and gum eyeballs made quite the impression on the neighbors.  I was impressed myself with it all until one year we went a little  over-the-top, I guess.  Speakers for the sound system were wired on top of the roof (surround sound screams were amazing), a bonfire in the middle of the driveway in a very urban neighborhood broke all the "rules" and a 7-foot tall grim reaper wandering the grounds was definitely the "creme de la creme" that year.   No one came.  Yup, too scary.  Dutiful parents rushed their trick-or-treaters past our driveway to the next house while I sat despondently holding all of those eyeballs.

So, the next year we turned our skeletons into pirates.  I don't know what became of the satin-lined coffin but it was gone.  Everything else morphed into an 18th Century Caribbean artifact.  The timing worked well for my book's promotion too.  Plus, my kids stayed home.  I'd hit the trifecta!

Pirates stormed my yard to include a 17 foot ship (thanks to Brett, Mike and Danny...and Home Depot), two fog machines, a treasure chest and those amazing eyeballs.  Life was good and we had scores of trick-or-treaters once again.  Even the media showed up to film the merriment.  Huzzah!  I was in my Halloween Heaven.

This year as I pull out the Halloween bins and prepare to set up the grotto, there are no kids to boss me around, set up the ship and re-dress the skeletons.  I'm sailing solo on this Halloween stuff and doing my best to keep dry eyes as I decorate this house with memorabilia from days long ago with five kids and a night of threatened trouble.  I think I've done okay this year.  The treasure glints from underneath the lanterns while empty sockets grin under tricorn hats and cutlasses.  Below the balcony, I hear gasps from kids as they pass, taking in the detail of an 18th Century grotto.  The effect is the same as it was years ago and I smile inside remembering happy times with my rambunctious five.  I'm sure Rich, Jeff, Brett, Rachel and Brooke will be celebrating in their own tradition, hopefully a pirate will be amongst their decor in honor of their mother.  But whatever happens, kids are the same this year as in the past - pounding the pavement dressed up on the one legal night to pretend, collecting candy and looking for that scariest costume or house - perhaps even a pirate grotto that hands out those amazing eyeballs!  I'll be waiting.....

Self Survival

 

January is the month for Capricorns and I always tend to think about this sign every January. The reason isn't really as random as it may seem, I have two Capricorns in my family. The are amazing men; assertive, intelligent, self-disciplined, driven, hard-working and hard on themselves. Their Saggitarian brother (born only a few weeks earlier) is my "surfer son" whose laid-back approach and live-in-the-moment attitude is a flagrant contrast to his sibling brothers.

As I researched this month's moon and planetary signs for the Pirate Prophecy (yes...I really based the piratical horoscope on actual planetary predictions for this month), I realized the personal trait of being hard on oneself isn't relegated to just Capricorns. We all do it. In fact, we tend to be so hard on ourselves as human beings that we drive ourselves to placate the guilt and injury that results, sometimes in self-destructive ways. Why is that?

Once upon a time...I heard a speech that changed my life. The speaker asked us to visualize ourselves at a very young age, say 3 or 4 years old. Once that image was captured and we were looking into the eyes of our very young selves, we were asked the question: "Would you treat that child the same way you treat your adult self?" Powerful! I wept when I thought of it and vowed to never be cruel to that little girl with big blue eyes again. Of course, it's been difficult because she's tucked away deep in my spirit, but she's still there and she still cries when I hurt her. So, the task is to protect, respect and love ourselves. Value who we are and know we are precious. Our actions could shift to a more spiritual awareness of ourselves when approached this way.

There is a famous saying that sailors are known to recite (you all know it):

Red skies at morning, sailors take warning

Red skies at night, a sailor's delight

Perhaps as we look for our own Red Skies, we can recognize the signs that fall with the "Red skies at night" and look for those delightful times. Should the morning raise crimson, it is my hope we will protect, defend and love that which is most dear - choosing joy and kindness for ourselves.

Fair Winds Be Yours ~
Marti

There's a Blizzard Outside and I'm Hunkerin' Down

This afternoon, I was sitting in my office catching up on some reports and injecting late-comers with the seasonal flu vaccination at about 2:30 pm today. An email "alert" came across my desk that stated hospital officials supported state weather alert warning by offering over-night accomodations for staff that would not be able to return home after their shift due to the storm. Flash-back to the 2007 Firestorms in San Diego! My mind immediately began to subconsciously check off our "emergency preparedness" supplies at home in anticipation of hybernating for the next few days.

Fortunately, I was prepared with food, water, comfort "treats", lanterns, first aide, etc. if needed. We could lose power, water and the ability to be mobile at any time and still be okay (of course, we'd definitely feel the effects of losing the TV and DVD player with the power loss, but hey...BOOKS are in the many bookcases lining this house!)

There is a feeling of peace that comes with being prepared. There is joy in "hunkering" down with family in a cozy home that is filled with love and laughter and good food! I sit here, right at this very moment, watching a downpour of white snowflakes blanketing everything outside of my cozy "four walls" and I feel safe, warm and happy.

Surviving the storms in our lives make us strong and bring confidence that the next storm will be conquerable. Finding joy and putting color in a flat-light moment attests to our power to overcome.
I wish for you the ability to be prepared for whatever life may hurl your way, strength to overcome and peace in knowing who you are and what you can become.

Happiest of this Thankgiving holiday!

Marti

Mindfulness and Difficult People

This afternoon, I had a patient enter my office with long, bold strides, interrupt my work and demand to "speak her mind". I thought her overtly aggressive entrance was appaulling and sat, I'm sure, staring with wide-eyed wonder at this rude woman intruding on my time and space. Fortunately, I was not in the mood to confront her offensive behavior (I had just come from teaching a meditation course and was still feeling very "mellow" from it all), so I inhaled and sat quiet for a moment. The sound of Japanese wood flutes played softly from my computer, encouraging stillness in the room.

 

I spoke only her name. She looked at me rather abruptly and literally fell into the chair behind her, exhausted from expelling so much negative energy.

It was an interesting experience.

 

Tonight, I ran across a wonderful post in Pema Chodron's blog. Her title is nearly copied on this blog, as the words written carry the reader down a new path to dealing with the difficult people in our lives. One line from her blog, I would like to quote for you:

"If we can learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher."

(Pema Chodron)

 

What an interesting concept. I still have not grasped it but hope to meditate on it and come to a better understanding of it through this week. This will be my challenge, one I hope you will share with me. Let me ask the same questions Pema asked, "Who in you life drives you bananas? Can you put yourself in their shoes, seeing their pain, and begin wishing them well? What does this teach you about yourself?"

 

So I ask myself, how did this patient become my teacher this afternoon and what did she need to teach me at that moment? I have not found the answer yet, but I will let you know when it comes. I hope you will too...


Namaste ~

Marti

Saying Goodbye

I have been delinquent with blogging and want to apologize to those of you who look for this every Sunday and Wednesday. I have a good excuse though....

This weekend was a quick trip to Denver, dropping off my dearest four-legged companion with my daughter-in-law (the reason for this is another blog...). The weekend flew by with happy moments spent with Miss Izzy and Miss Abby, and of course Kindall. Delightful to have my granddaughter climb onto my lab and cuddle with both tiny arms wraped snug around my neck as we watched college football.

 Unforgettable as bright blue eyes looked at me with a whispered "ohhh" as her sister discovered once again the bright lights of a familiar toy.

Such joy cannot be contained!

Then came the "goodbyes" and I pulled each of them into my arms, kissed them and promised "HuHu will be back again very soon". I blinked quickly as tears welled and hugged my sweet beagle who looked at me with trusting eyes. I knew these three innocents could not comprehend that this woman they loved would return or what the words whispered to them really meant. Only I knew the depth of the promise left to them. So, I said goodbye and walked away from them, tears now spilling as I saw three faces watch me go wondering why they weren't going along.

How treasured is the trust and faith of the innocent. I felt it yesterday and comforted my feelings of abandonment and guilt through a new resolve to make the trip out to visit again soon, as I promised. That promise is real to me and hoped for by them. 

Until that blessed day when I can gather them all in my arms again...

Marti

All Hallow's Eve



Fall is truly my favorite season! So many traditions make it that way for me: the evening air turns crisp and paints nature a vibrant array of colors, football season dominates the weekends of sports fans, eating yellow vegetables is totally cool, scary stories and tales of ghosts pulls me into the pages of my favorite books, cemeteries are my favorite haunts and humankind waits for Halloween when tricks and treats stalk the streets as adult and children alike shed their daily image and don a new identity.

Year after year, from times earliest record, All Hallow's Eve has been a night of tradition. Fires burned in ancient Celtic rituals celebrating Samhan, hallowed Saints were honored by Christians and European folk traditions collaborated to create the Halloween we celebrate today in America.

Of course, I am one who has grown up loving "The Great Pumpkin" with Charlie Brown and was always the first in my family to create the perfect costume for trick-or-treating through Millcreek. Too soon it seemed I was designated as "too old to trick-or-treat". Yet as an adult, there is still a compulsive draw to the mystic moons and creepy cemeteries that become "appropriate" when Fall makes it appearance.

Why is that, do you think?



I don't have the answer of course, but the desire is there and excitement builds as I anticipate becoming my favorite alter-ego, a pirate, and my house converts to a grotto filled with treasure, an authentic wheel from a ships' helm (held by a long-dead helmsman whose skeleton features send chills down young kids' spines as they watch him sailing a sunken vessel in a foggy night). Torches will burn and lanterns will flicker, lighting the path to the candy waiting for any mate who'll come aboard shoutin' "Trick-or-Treat!"

May ye all be safe an' have a most Happy Halloween!

M'Lady Marti



Tears, Rain and Things That Don't Make Me Cry



I am sitting here in the most beautiful office overlooking Millcreek as it's raining. The tree in front of my office window was just about as tall as me, the last time I saw it. Now, that same tree reaches with long sturdy branches across the manicured lawn, an umbrella shading delicate flowers and ivy running along the creek bed. The creek's current cascades over stream rocks creating a rushing sound that soothes me while the raindrops dance on the water's surface. All of this I am able to view through the framed large window in front of me as I sit here warm, awed and peaceful.



Well, almost peaceful...I just was stabbed by a very old piece of wood panelling, a tiny sliver imbedded in my ring fingertip. It's painful reminder pulls me back from my serenity each time I tap an L or O or the period key.

My life is sometimes like that. I realized today what an amazing gift I have to choose joy almost unconsciously as I go through the events of my day. Joy that is alot like the view outside my window: natural, peaceful and fulfilling. That is...until something stabs my consciousness and reminds me that all of life isn't pleasant.


I don't think these types of "reminders" are meant to destroy our experiences, although they easily could when focussed upon long enough. My grandma is a perfect example of this. She is 97 years young. She cannot hear, has suffered several heart attacks (and still occasionaly mentions the "headache right here" - pointing to her chest - that "bothered me just a little last night but it's gone now", along with the many accumulating maladies that accompany a 90+ year old body. These little "stabs" in her life do not seem to trouble her as much as my sliver is troubling me as I type this blog. Her days are filled with studying old journals, writing new journals, organizing photos and family history, football and tatting (not in that order). Right now I can hear her upstairs watching old home movies put onto DVD's, the volume so loud the neighbors can sing along with Glenn Miller's Orchestra as it plays. She is laughing and cheering and pointing to faces of loved ones long gone from this life, waiting for her to join them. No, those little "stabs" in her life don't distract her. Life is "grand" as she would put it, should you ask.


My sister made the same observation in her new blog, which I highly recommend you take time to read. She is hysterical and has a very dry sense of life. The perfect antidote to "stabs". Her website is: http://www.everydayshari.blogspot.com. In fact....I'm off to read her latest post and forget about this sliver!

Namaste ~

Marti

Dynamics

Ahhh...the dynamics that dance between adult human beings as we mesh our lives together. Sounds so philosophical, rather "heavy", but it's a true phenomenon that occurs as time creeps forward in subdued steps.



Over the course of the last few months (since the book was released to the public), I've had the oportunity to reunite and reaquaint myself with friends from my past. What an amazing experience it has been to meet once again and share stories of our lives absent from one another. So different, and yet really the same, we tell the same tale of struggle, joys, triumph, hopes, and so on. Kindling the old relationships is life altering, bringing us full circle in one part of our journey. These aren't accidents.
I am convinced we have people in our lives for a purpose. Agreements made and promises fulfilled over and over again, we find our way to each other to enrich and support each other as friends, family, nemeses, lovers. So interesting really when I stop to think of how each of the individuals surrounding my life have touched my life over and over again.



Last night at the book launch party, I was joined at one point by "sisters", not blood family but spiritual friendships, that had blessed my life at one point in my history. Several of these amazing women I had not seen for more than ten years! We hugged each other, spilled our secrets and enriched each other once again in just the brief time spent together.


The power of love is so binding. May I suggest a moment to pause this week and take notice of the people who have chosen to surround you, nurture you and bless you with their friendship. Feel the binding energy that is present when you are near them. Give thanks for the blessing you have been given of reuniting with that person in this lifetime.

I am so thankful for my "people"

Namaste ~
Marti

Flu Shots



Yes...tomorrow is the big day for my work place and I am in charge of it all - the annual Flu Shot Clinic.

Due to the 0515 wake-up call and the late evening end-of-shift anticipated, I doubt there will be any blogging going on. My apologies to anyone who looks forward to Sunday & Wednesday (blog days). Especially, my apology to Kaycee, my daughter-in-law who will, no doubt, text me to remind me I'm a slacker this week. Maybe with enough encouragement, she'll blog for me....we'll see.

So, let me put in my medical 2-cents here. YES! Definitely get your flu shot this season, stay healthy, happy and busy enjoying time with family, friends and a good book!

XO
Marti

Walk the Talk

I'm a day late blogging and I apologize to anyone anticipating a typical Wednesday night post. So much is going on around here right now I can't even begin to get clever or inspirational...I'm holding on with my fingernails myself!


Interesting how after only a few months of posting my thoughts about life and "riding the wave", God sees fit to give me another little TEST! My wave just fizzled out and I'm almost too exhausted (and scared) to turn around and face the next one...even though I've been promised it's going to be a FABULOUS ride!
Not easy getting back into life! So not easy saying "goodbye" to family as they move off of their own wave and turn around to face the next, particularly when I'm not included on the ride.

So, to myself and my loved ones...have a great ride and I'll see you one the next one hopefully.
Namaste ~

Marti

No Bloggin' Tonight

I wanted to blog tonight but have somehow "tweaked" my neck and am feeling rather sorry for myself.  The whole affair has forced me to be somewhat guarded with my movements, slow down, be still.  Right now, I am lying on my bed with a pillow propped up to support my head, barely moving anything but my fingers on the keyboard...in a receiving mode, as-it-were.  The sounds of evening are singing to my quieted ears, thoughts have dissipated to just what is for this moment. The pain is bringing me to center and I am becoming renewed by it. 

Sounds so "Zen"...but it's true, I swear on a stack of Buddhist quotes!

I'm thinking life is a little like this.  The pain we experience in our hearts and souls brings us back to "what's most important".  Perhaps the experience of pain itself is cleansing.  I supposed I should be grateful for the acute pain in my neck, grateful that there have been painful experiences and trials throughout my life which give me clarity and character.

So, to my painful neck...."bring it on!"

Marti

Dreams

9/4/2010 7:14:41 AM
Is there meaning behind our dreams and if so, what do our dreams really mean?
Last night I dreamt I was in Greece. I could see the clear turquoise water and smell fish and spices in the air. The people in my dream were very generous to me, feeding me unfamiliar flavors washed through tender meat and oil-laden vegetables. I ate and more food would be place before me, overwhelming really. Their culture was vibrant as I watched the woman tend to her man as we sat visiting while she scurried to and from the house with something always in her hand, always throwing out an after-thought as she left us. I moved to the edge of a patio and sat, dangling my feet in the clear sea water. The man stayed with me, still talking. Suddenly, a large shadow rushed to where I was in the water. Apparently I had stood up at some point because I was alone then, watching a great white shark as it rammed into the very spot I had been sitting. Then I awoke.

I have never been to Greece in this lifetime but interestingly, have always had a strong desire to go. The faces of those people elude me this morning. But the experience was real and I remember the smells, tastes and feeling of that place even now several hours after awakening.

The meaning of the dream may be relevant and something I will consider, meditate on at a later date. Right now, my focus is on the purpose of the experience of my dream. I have read from "experts" that occasionally, dreams of detail that include location, people and events creating an experience (not just an image we are viewing) as we dream are really the taste of past lives creeping into our consciousness. I am curious about the dreams of others and what their experience is as they dream. As I contemplate my own dream experience, clarity will come I am sure, clarity I will share here at some point.

I wonder, have I really been to Greece sometime before?

Eternity Really?

Whenever I think of time, I think in terms of a timeline - a long line written across an invisible wall with a beginning date (usually my birthday) and an end date (my death, although the exact date isn't yet written down for obvious reasons). Somewhere in the middle is a little arrow that says "you are here". That's my time, my lifetime written down.

But that's not really how I feel it. I think the concept of a long line is a good one, definitive for those of us who have to be visual. In my mind, the line isn't one long skinny line but rather a wide, fat (goes on farther-than-the-eye-can-see-kind-of-wide) line that looks much like the horizon of an ocean. The width of my timeline is eternity. It has no beginning (that I can see) and no end. The starting point of my own personal linear line, which is my birthdate, is irrelevant because the width goes on forever, extending behind my birthdate and beyond my death date, whenever that will be.

This is eternity.

I believe that the souls of others who may have yet to reach their birthdates or who have passed beyond their death dates, dwell within this expanse. They are travelling my timeline with me as I did theirs. Our lives cross back and forth across the insignificance of our own visual timelines and continue to do so well after our own deaths. This is eternal relationship defined.

Could our Deja vu moments with people result from our associations through the eternities? Was I once a spirit sailing on a great ship in the Caribbean and now in this life recall the details of the saltwater logged wood on a vessel in the 18th century? Are the longings of a person's heart for someone they can't quite identify the longing for someone known in the expanse of eternity?

It gives me hope...

There are Good People Out There...Really!

Tonight I sat in the South Towne Mall and spent four hours talking to complete strangers. Anyone who knows me understands how difficult that whole process is for me. But, I'm so glad I did. There are some amazing people walking this planet! Each person's story was very different than the other, each sharing personal trials, victories and hopes for their future.

Particularly amazing is this fan who showed up, taking photos and supporting my dream.

Thank you!
Marti

Red Sky at Night...a Sailor's Delight

I intended to blog tonight, particularly after viewing the sunset here just an hour ago, but I'm exhausted so this will be short. Still, I can't forget the ethereal sight I witnessed in the sky tonight. What an amazing array of salmon-drenched light peaking through slate billowy clouds! I had to take photos and plan to write that sunset into the sequel somewhere. Kathryn must experience that sunset on the sea some evening, don't you think?

God really knows how to paint the sky doesn't he?

Have a great week! I probably won't write again until after the wedding Saturday. If you have a chance, run by any Salt Lake City library (or the county library, although they haven't ordered books yet to my knowledge) and check out your copy of Midnight Omen Deja vu. Better yet, drop by Eborn Books in the Southtowne Mall or Frost's Books in Sugarhouse and pick up your own copy!


XO
Marti

Comfort Chaos

Several of the sites I write on (ie: Blog) feel more open to a general public review. For whatever reason, this blog feels different...somehow more personal. I have posted the blog below on several sites tonight but felt that I wanted to make it a little more meaningful here. So here goes....

It's difficult to see a loved one leave. I have one son who just landed in the Middle East on his second deployment a few days ago. I have a daughter who will be someone's wife on Saturday. My baby leaves for college not long after that. In the middle of all of these plans, my daughter-in-law arrived with both children. What a wonderful reminder of the circle of life that surrounds us all. As some leave, others arrive. Yesterday's activities are stashed away as precious memories while todays events are relished. All of this blends together into one big chaotic series of experiences we call life. And so it was for me tonight....

My house has been chaotic for the past several weeks. Only six days remain until my daughter is married, five days remain until my son and his family arrive from Denver, four days remain until Wendy is here, three days until the last of the food preparation is planned, two days until I get to go to the gym and one day until work starts again. People are bustling and blowing through here like a torrential flurry of fall leaves on a blustery October evening. I'm not keeping up....but I'm loving it all.

Tonight, my grandson climbed onto my lap, laid his head in the crook of my arm and fell asleep. The chaos circlied us like sharks in a frenzy...but we stayed still, peaceful in the midst of it all as I rocked him to sleep. This moment was mine as I memorized his sweet slumbering face.

The moon just waned and chaos followed, as it should. There is bliss in this kind of chaos and I'm glad for it.

Have a very happy, chaotic week!

Marti

Full Moon

Last night the moon shone full, brightly illuminating the clear starlit sky. It was fabulous! My son, Brett pulled me outside to look at it and I was in awe.

Night is such an amazing time. There is mystery and anticipation surrounding the midnight moon. Full and bright, the promise of good things to come. A good omen, if you will.

Tonight, take a moment and appreciate the full moon. Feel its energy drizzle down over you in the darkness. Allow your heart to swell at the promise of good things to come. Bask in its joy.

I will. I'll be out there tonight, joining you so think of me...

Home of the Brave Because of the Free

I cry everytime I hear the Star Spangled Banner played. It doesn't matter if the melody sounds over the loudspeaker before the local baseball game or whether it's played solemnly before a ceremony. The results are always the same.

Only seven days and I will be celebrating our nation's birthday traditionally with summer outdoor swimming, a rodeo and BBQ topped off with the traditional fireworks (thanks to Bruce Willis once again!). My family will be joining me as we caravan to Sun Valley, Idaho ready to recreate and celebrate together. I can hardly wait!

I wonder if those living on this continent 234 years ago dreamt of future days with celebration and BBQ's. Probably not. Their dreams were of freedom, family and founding a new country. Each step taken toward that precious goal of independence placed our forefathers at risk of meeting the hangman's noose. Yet still they moved forward until that day when the United States of America came into being.

Today as Americans, we face very real threats, domestic and abroad, to our same beloved United States. As we celebrate that great day of independence won more than two centuries ago, let us remember those brave men and women of our military forces who face no less a risk as those men and women living during the early 1770's. Let us honor them and those who served before by honoring our country, covering our heart as the Star Spangled Banner is played or even better, standing in respect as the flag is displayed. Let us raise our voices and join in proudly declaring our Pledge of Allegiance and joining in song as we proclaim, "...the Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave".

Thank you to our soldiers for their loyal service and sacrifice to the preservation of that freedom won more than two hundred years ago!